As for me and my house...

Everyone wants to truth right?  Nobody likes to be lied to... it greatly diminishes trust, respect, and belief in those that have lied.  I wish I could say I was perfect and have never told a lie (intentional or not) but I'm sure I have some little "white lies" following me around - of course I do, I have small children!

Lying is something I've always preached about and always requested that people tell me the truth, no matter how bad they think it is or how upset they think I might get.  So what if I get mad, I'll get over it and I'll respect you more for having the balls to tell me the truth!  With that, I just gotta say, I have never in my whole life experienced or been lied to so much as I have in the past seven years... and because of my profession, it's just gonna continue.  But the seven years I'm referring to is my personal life and a certain individual... ups and downs as any normal "relationship" would have (ANY kind of relationship) but this past year has just been a bugger of lies and deceipt!  I knew when it started, I knew it was getting worse and I knew before it blew up that it was about to blow up... and that's ok.  It's not ok how it all went down because it could have been avoided if there had been truth... not necessarily the parting of ways, but the blow up and the way the parting took place.

I've been attending a program at church called Celebrate Recovery... its similar to AA in that there's a recovery principle/process but it's a Christ based program focusing on hurts, habits and hang ups.  It's a really good program and every week I attend I walk away with new insight to my life and how to "deal" with the things (be it old or new) affecting me.  Last night's class was no exception... it was probably one of the classes that spoke to me most.  There were so many verses and attributes that fit perfectly in what my life is managing right now... and how lies and deceipt are the work of the Devil (which I knew but it's always good to have a reminder).  NO GOOD CAN EVER COME FROM LYING!!!!

 The mind of a sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God.  It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so.  Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God... Romans 8:6-8

A greedy man brings trouble to his family... Proverbs 15:27

In my walk I've struggled with "knowing" when God is talking to me or showing me a true sign, "how will I know" and will I be strong enough to relenquish control and actually listen to him?  I learned last night that, you just know, and yes I am strong enough to hand it all to Him... I've been telling Him for months now that it's out of my control and that I was handing it to Him but still had that struggle of knowing.

On my way to work Monday I was blessed with a beautiful sight... A Bald Eagle flew overhead right in front of me!  There I was driving along and the most beautiful bird ever flew across the road right above me as I passed under him.  A warmth came over me, a feeling of pride and freedom... I don't know how else to explain it, it was just a feeling of renewal and hope.  I thanked God for his awesome and wonderous works of nature and for allowing me to enjoy in its beauty.  Then last night in class the teacher played a song for us called Voice of Truth, in his video of the song (not the one below) as the song was playing a picture of an Eagle soaring  popped up... I seriously almost lost it and was glad to be sitting in the back so nobody could see me.  He spoke to me, I heard him and I'm listening...

If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever... 1 Timothy 5:8

March on in...

Hey there my peoples... long time no talky eh?  It's not that I don't have anything to say, cause you all know I don't stop talking!  I've even reverted to old school and started throwing thoughts out on paper, with  intentions of putting them here... cause I know all my faithful followers are having withdrawals.  hahahaha  No seriously... just stopping in to let you know I'm still here, still thinking, still kicking it and should be back in full internet mode within the month.  For now, this is all I have to say.........

10,000 Reasons...

It's always annoyed me when people would say, "I can't wait for the new year" as if starting a new year was going to solve all their previous year trials and tribulations.  We all have trials and tribulations - don't we?  I don't think I've ever had a year go by where something happened that I wish hadn't.

I get it.  This year, I finally get it.  I've had my share of rough times over the past few years but 2012 has by far been the roughest, most especially the last couple of months.  I didn't sit around waiting with anticipation of the new year, no I was way to busy and focused on other tribulations to worry about what the new year was going to hold.  It wasn't until well into January 1st that it hit me... the crap of 2012 is over... it's 2013, a  new day, a new chapter in my life and it's up to me how it plays out.  While I know there are things in life that I are beyond my control and without a doubt there will be trials and tribulations this year too... I can guarantee it.  But I also know that because of the 2012 tribulations, the worse is over and I'm free to start a new.  I hate starting over or starting out "new" but this time, it's ok.  I'm ok... or at least I'll be ok.  God brought me here via a strong blood line and we may falter from time to time but we don't give up and we sure as hell don't run.  Look out 2013 and all that get in the way, cause this woman is standing strong and tall!

But what about my kids you may ask?  Well they may not be quite as strong as their Momma, right now... and that's ok too cause I'm their Momma and I will be their strength.  Of course that doesn't mean I don't have my fears, it doesn't mean they won't hurt, it doesn't mean a thousand tears won't be shed... however when this song starts playing on the radio and I hear this tiny little voice coming from my back seat start to sing "Bless the Lord oh My Soul..." - it was then that I knew they too would be ok... it's all going to be ok.

There is nothing sweeter than hearing the voice of a child singing praise to His name..

Proud MaMa Moment

A little over a week ago the local dry cleaner here in town caught fire during the night... it was adjacent to a shopping center that housed other businesses including an empty storefront that was being used as a holding for the donated toys for Toys for Tots.  Over $15,000 in toys and about $6,000 in clothing were lost... as always you can count on the Gaylord community to spring into action and start restocking of those items so that every child can have a Christmas (there was no insurance).  Even I was/am holding a fundraiser and ALL proceeds earned from my Tupperware sales through December 14th will be donated to the Toys for Tots program in Gaylord.  So where does the proud Mama moment come into play?

The first thing out of my baby girl's mouth when she woke up this morning was, Mama we gotta put this money (lefting a handful of change she'd been saving for month) in a baggie so I can take it to school for Toys for Tots!  I wished I'd had a camera handy, her sad little face looking up at me as if to say "if we don't get this money to them there won't be any Christmas"... that's my baby girl.  She really does have my "giving" blood in her.  A moment in time when she wasn't thinking of herself and wouldn't stop until I had the baggie down and filled with change.  I even offered to get some more money for her to take but she didn't want it... this was HER money and SHE was giving it for something she believed to be special and purposeful.  that folks, is my proud mama moment!!

Are You Strong Enough?

Yesterday was a big day here in America... Election Day.  Not just any Election Day, but the one where we decide on who our president will be for the next four years... sometimes a tough decision, sometimes not so much.  There's always a few extra names listed on the ballot of people you've likely never heard of and two you most definitely have... this year, Barack Obama and Mitt Romney were our Primary choices.  When it comes to the president and presidential elections things can get heated, arguments begin, friendships end, people laugh, people cry... for some it's a highly emotional time.

I'll make no bones about it, I didn't vote for Obama the first time and I sure as heck didn't vote for him this time.  He didn't win and honestly I'm ok with that... I'm not ok with some of his past choices, and probably won't be with some of his future choices.  It's ok... it's ok because everyone has made some poor choices throughout their lives and I'm sure Romney would have made some poor decisions throughout his presidency had he won.  We all (I'm guilty of it too) seem to hold the president responsible for everything that goes wrong, and for not making positive changes.  The economy is in a hard hard state right now, people are hurting and struggling, fighting to survive and one man can't fix that.  It is unrealistic to think Obama could have made such great changes in the past four years, and it would have been unrealistic to expect Romney to fix the mess that was created over the past eight plus years.  There is only one that can truly heal the hurt, feed the starving and lessen the struggles... He's our Almighty God.  You know the verse, "I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me" - pull him near, feel his warmth and I promise he'll pull you through whatever your troubles may be.  No president can do that!

So here we are... Obama has another four years to finish what he started, another four years to get it right, to learn from his mistakes and go forward making GOOD decisions to help America turn itself around.  Just keep in mind that ONE man can't do it alone, we all have to be a part of the equation.  We all have to be a part of the solution, be the change you want to see in the world, be the role model the world needs you to be... shake your neighbors hand and let's put this country back together again!

Thankful Thursday...

**only one day late this week**

Yikes, it’s Thankful Thursday already and I wrote nothing in between… boo me.

I’ve been thinking about this Thankful Thursday thing, and I’m thinking I need to think about it sooner than on Thursday’s… I played through so many things that I’m thankful for that I literally got a headache.  Seriously, where do you start when you have so many things to be thankful for?  I’ll tell ya where…  with God.  I know, there was a time when such a statement coming from my mouth would have caused panic but don’t worry… Mercury isn’t in Retrograde or anything like that.  Well maybe it is, I haven’t checked lately so who knows.

Anywho… if ya know me, and I mean really know me and not just think you know me… you know there was a period when me and God didn’t exactly see eye to eye.  I never stopped talking to him, well maybe it was more like yelling at him… but either way, I’ll tell ya flat out he never left my side.  I’ll save you the gory details of my past but there were many a time when, in looking back, He was there catching me every time I fell… except that one time that involved black ice and a concusion, and that other time that involved high heels and ½ dozen shots, but I digress…

It was rough… it still is.  But now I have more faith that everything will be ok.  It was 2010 and after seven years of “bad luck” I’d had enough, I heard his call and followed his lead… the decision was made, me and the kids would be going back to church.  Their father didn’t want any part of it at the time, which was ok cause I was going to need someone to take care of the kids after I burst into flames from stepping foot in a church.  Seriously.  I researched the area churches and decided on Oak Pointe Church in Novi.  The day came, the kids were excited, I was nervous and cautiously approached the building slowly walking in further and further… sigh, phew… no flames.  Would you believe I noticed changes happening right away… and for the better!   For the longest time, while at odds with God, I had that attitude of “just because I don’t go to church doesn’t mean I’m not a Christian, or a good person”… it’s not enough, it really isn’t.   There’s a BIG difference in saying I believe in God and actually believing in him… know what I mean?  You can go around and say, yeah yeah I believe… but do you really?  What do your actions say?  What does your heart say?  Do you feel the belief or is it just  a passive statement??  Do ya get it now?

Anywho… long story short, we only attended that church for about 8 months when God started making big moves in our lives and he took us to Port Huron for a new and wonderful career!  Then a year later we were called to head north… and back to my home church, Gaylord Evangelical Free Church.  The church has grown TREMENDOUSLY since I left the area in 1999 but it still has that small town warmth and love about it… even though the attendance has grown so much, I still see so many faces I recognize and I’m thankful for that.  A little sad when some of the faces are of those that were in elementary school the last time I saw them, or were just graduating high school and now have families of their own… sigh, I feel so old.  :o(

Back to my long story short… I’m thankful for God and his forgiveness.  If you’ve never heard of 2wordstory, I highly recommend you check out their site and program – it’s AWESOME!  I struggled with my own 2 word story and what it should be, there were sooo many words I could use but I settled on the one most fitting.  My story… Forgiven?  Forgiven.  Someday I’ll tell ya about it, but for now this song by Mercy Me describes it pretty well.

Thankful Thursday...

Yes, I know it’s not Thursday but Thursday got away from me so here we are… celebrating Thankful Thursday on Saturday.  Soooo, on the way to work Thursday morning I was listening to 89.3 and callers were calling in to tell what they were thankful for – after all, it was Thankful Thursday.  What an awesome idea right?  The whole way in I thought about the blog and what to write in regards to Thankful Thursday, had a whole line up of things… then as soon as I got to work it all left and my brain turned to squish.

Let me start by going way back to April 30, 2012… I arrived to work and found this hottie sitting on my keyboard, just waiting to make my day special!

Seems strange I know, but it’s the little things that matter most… and my old cell mate knew just how to make me smile.  She’d come across this old poster and for some crazy reason thought of me, wrote up a little caption bubble and perched him on my keyboard for my morning pleasure.  I am soooo thankful for a great number of things but I’m starting this one off with my cell mate and dear friend Mellea… we’re like sisters that were separated at birth.  We’re both twisted, have minimal filters on our mouths and get each other’s off the wall sense of humor.   People were jealous, I know they were… and they were lurking, just waiting in the wings like vultures for when I left, hoping and praying that I’d leave the poster behind so they could have it – not a chance!!  Here he is in his new home at my new office…. And yes, I did put baby in a corner…

So, of all the things I could have mentioned being thankful for in relation to Ms. Mellea why did I mention the Bon Jovi story?  Because of this stellar young man right here….

Yup, he’s one to be thankful for too.  He’s a Foster Care Worker here in Emmet County and I know there are a lot of people thankful for him.  There must be, because he’s being recognized and honored for going above and beyond and is Foster Care Worker of the year!!! 

On a personal note I think he's jealous of my Bon Jovi poster... he's a jokester too and has made a few silly comments about him.  It's ok though, it puts a smile on my face and that's something to be thankful for!  So can you imagine the smile, not to mention flat out laughter that followed when I saw this on my cube wall just hanging there staring at me...

Here, let me zoom in so you can see that it's actually autographed...

Not only am I honored to be one of the select few to receive one, but he spelled my name right too!!  Told you it's the little things that matter most!  And in case you can't read what it says, let me help ya out... "Best Wishes and keep striving for greatness, continue Living on a Prayer" - told you he was jealous.  ;o)