What's Your Purpose?

I know you've all asked yourself at least once in your life what your purpose was.  I have - over and over and over.  The life events of the last few years have kinda left me just hanging in limbo, wondering and asking God for a hint... something, anything to let me know what I'm supposed to be doing, where I'm supposed to be.  Through Him I was able to find peace, and keep from making what would have been some very poor choices but I'm still hanging from that nail... wondering and asking - personally I think God is holding out just so I keep talking to Him.  He's such a worry wart.

I came across this article and wanted to share it with you all... I don't know who wrote it, but it's very thought provoking.  Eye opening actually...

Consider a hammer. It’s designed to hit nails. That’s what it was created to do. Now imagine that the hammer never gets used. It just sits in the toolbox. The hammer doesn’t care.

But now imagine that same hammer with a soul, a self-consciousness. Days and days go by with him remaining in the toolbox. He feels funny inside, but he’s not sure exactly why. Something is missing, but he doesn’t know what it is.

Then one day someone pulls him out of the toolbox and uses him to break some branches for the fireplace. The hammer is exhilarated. Being held, being wielded, hitting the branches — the hammer loves it. At the end of the day, though, he is still unfulfilled. Hitting the branches was fun, but it wasn’t enough. Something is still missing.

In the days that follow, he’s used often. He reshapes a hubcap, blasts through some sheet rock, knocks a table leg back into place. Still, he’s left unfulfilled. So he longs for more action. He wants to be used as much as possible to knock things around, to break things, to blast things, to dent things. He figures that he just hasn’t had enough of these events to satisfy him. More of the same, he believes, is the solution to his lack of fulfillment.

Then one day someone uses him on a nail. Suddenly, the lights come on in his hammer soul. He now understands what he was truly designed for. He was meant to hit nails. All the other things he hit pale in comparison. Now he knows what his hammer soul was searching for all along.

We are created in God’s image for relationship with him. Being in that relationship is the only thing that will ultimately satisfy our souls. Until we come to know God, we’ve had many wonderful experiences, but we haven’t hit a nail. We’ve been used for some noble purposes, but not the one we were ultimately designed for, not the one through which we will find the most fulfillment. Augustine summarized it this way: “You [God] have made us for yourself and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in Thee.”

A relationship with God is the only thing that will quench our soul’s longing. Jesus Christ said, “I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty.” Until we come to know God, we are hungry and thirsty in life. We try to “eat” and “drink” all kinds of things to satisfy our hunger and thirst, but yet they remain.

We are like the hammer. We don’t realize what will end the emptiness, the lack of fulfillment, in our lives. Even in the midst of a Nazi prison camp, Corri Ten Boom found God to be wholly satisfying: “The foundation of our happiness was that we knew ourselves hidden with Christ in God. We could have faith in God’s love…our Rock who is stronger than the deepest darkness.”

Usually when we keep God out, we try to find fulfillment in something other than God, but we can never get enough of that thing. We keep “eating” or “drinking” more and more, erroneously thinking that ‘more’ is the answer to the problem, yet we are never ultimately satisfied.

Our greatest desire is to know God, to have a relationship with God. Why? Because that’s how we’ve been designed. Have you hit a nail yet?

There’s much more meaning in life once you know your purpose.

As for me and my house...

Everyone wants to truth right?  Nobody likes to be lied to... it greatly diminishes trust, respect, and belief in those that have lied.  I wish I could say I was perfect and have never told a lie (intentional or not) but I'm sure I have some little "white lies" following me around - of course I do, I have small children!

Lying is something I've always preached about and always requested that people tell me the truth, no matter how bad they think it is or how upset they think I might get.  So what if I get mad, I'll get over it and I'll respect you more for having the balls to tell me the truth!  With that, I just gotta say, I have never in my whole life experienced or been lied to so much as I have in the past seven years... and because of my profession, it's just gonna continue.  But the seven years I'm referring to is my personal life and a certain individual... ups and downs as any normal "relationship" would have (ANY kind of relationship) but this past year has just been a bugger of lies and deceipt!  I knew when it started, I knew it was getting worse and I knew before it blew up that it was about to blow up... and that's ok.  It's not ok how it all went down because it could have been avoided if there had been truth... not necessarily the parting of ways, but the blow up and the way the parting took place.

I've been attending a program at church called Celebrate Recovery... its similar to AA in that there's a recovery principle/process but it's a Christ based program focusing on hurts, habits and hang ups.  It's a really good program and every week I attend I walk away with new insight to my life and how to "deal" with the things (be it old or new) affecting me.  Last night's class was no exception... it was probably one of the classes that spoke to me most.  There were so many verses and attributes that fit perfectly in what my life is managing right now... and how lies and deceipt are the work of the Devil (which I knew but it's always good to have a reminder).  NO GOOD CAN EVER COME FROM LYING!!!!

 The mind of a sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God.  It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so.  Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God... Romans 8:6-8

A greedy man brings trouble to his family... Proverbs 15:27

In my walk I've struggled with "knowing" when God is talking to me or showing me a true sign, "how will I know" and will I be strong enough to relenquish control and actually listen to him?  I learned last night that, you just know, and yes I am strong enough to hand it all to Him... I've been telling Him for months now that it's out of my control and that I was handing it to Him but still had that struggle of knowing.

On my way to work Monday I was blessed with a beautiful sight... A Bald Eagle flew overhead right in front of me!  There I was driving along and the most beautiful bird ever flew across the road right above me as I passed under him.  A warmth came over me, a feeling of pride and freedom... I don't know how else to explain it, it was just a feeling of renewal and hope.  I thanked God for his awesome and wonderous works of nature and for allowing me to enjoy in its beauty.  Then last night in class the teacher played a song for us called Voice of Truth, in his video of the song (not the one below) as the song was playing a picture of an Eagle soaring  popped up... I seriously almost lost it and was glad to be sitting in the back so nobody could see me.  He spoke to me, I heard him and I'm listening...

If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever... 1 Timothy 5:8

March on in...

Hey there my peoples... long time no talky eh?  It's not that I don't have anything to say, cause you all know I don't stop talking!  I've even reverted to old school and started throwing thoughts out on paper, with  intentions of putting them here... cause I know all my faithful followers are having withdrawals.  hahahaha  No seriously... just stopping in to let you know I'm still here, still thinking, still kicking it and should be back in full internet mode within the month.  For now, this is all I have to say.........

10,000 Reasons...

It's always annoyed me when people would say, "I can't wait for the new year" as if starting a new year was going to solve all their previous year trials and tribulations.  We all have trials and tribulations - don't we?  I don't think I've ever had a year go by where something happened that I wish hadn't.

I get it.  This year, I finally get it.  I've had my share of rough times over the past few years but 2012 has by far been the roughest, most especially the last couple of months.  I didn't sit around waiting with anticipation of the new year, no I was way to busy and focused on other tribulations to worry about what the new year was going to hold.  It wasn't until well into January 1st that it hit me... the crap of 2012 is over... it's 2013, a  new day, a new chapter in my life and it's up to me how it plays out.  While I know there are things in life that I are beyond my control and without a doubt there will be trials and tribulations this year too... I can guarantee it.  But I also know that because of the 2012 tribulations, the worse is over and I'm free to start a new.  I hate starting over or starting out "new" but this time, it's ok.  I'm ok... or at least I'll be ok.  God brought me here via a strong blood line and we may falter from time to time but we don't give up and we sure as hell don't run.  Look out 2013 and all that get in the way, cause this woman is standing strong and tall!

But what about my kids you may ask?  Well they may not be quite as strong as their Momma, right now... and that's ok too cause I'm their Momma and I will be their strength.  Of course that doesn't mean I don't have my fears, it doesn't mean they won't hurt, it doesn't mean a thousand tears won't be shed... however when this song starts playing on the radio and I hear this tiny little voice coming from my back seat start to sing "Bless the Lord oh My Soul..." - it was then that I knew they too would be ok... it's all going to be ok.

There is nothing sweeter than hearing the voice of a child singing praise to His name..

Proud MaMa Moment

A little over a week ago the local dry cleaner here in town caught fire during the night... it was adjacent to a shopping center that housed other businesses including an empty storefront that was being used as a holding for the donated toys for Toys for Tots.  Over $15,000 in toys and about $6,000 in clothing were lost... as always you can count on the Gaylord community to spring into action and start restocking of those items so that every child can have a Christmas (there was no insurance).  Even I was/am holding a fundraiser and ALL proceeds earned from my Tupperware sales through December 14th will be donated to the Toys for Tots program in Gaylord.  So where does the proud Mama moment come into play?

The first thing out of my baby girl's mouth when she woke up this morning was, Mama we gotta put this money (lefting a handful of change she'd been saving for month) in a baggie so I can take it to school for Toys for Tots!  I wished I'd had a camera handy, her sad little face looking up at me as if to say "if we don't get this money to them there won't be any Christmas"... that's my baby girl.  She really does have my "giving" blood in her.  A moment in time when she wasn't thinking of herself and wouldn't stop until I had the baggie down and filled with change.  I even offered to get some more money for her to take but she didn't want it... this was HER money and SHE was giving it for something she believed to be special and purposeful.  that folks, is my proud mama moment!!

Are You Strong Enough?

Yesterday was a big day here in America... Election Day.  Not just any Election Day, but the one where we decide on who our president will be for the next four years... sometimes a tough decision, sometimes not so much.  There's always a few extra names listed on the ballot of people you've likely never heard of and two you most definitely have... this year, Barack Obama and Mitt Romney were our Primary choices.  When it comes to the president and presidential elections things can get heated, arguments begin, friendships end, people laugh, people cry... for some it's a highly emotional time.

I'll make no bones about it, I didn't vote for Obama the first time and I sure as heck didn't vote for him this time.  He didn't win and honestly I'm ok with that... I'm not ok with some of his past choices, and probably won't be with some of his future choices.  It's ok... it's ok because everyone has made some poor choices throughout their lives and I'm sure Romney would have made some poor decisions throughout his presidency had he won.  We all (I'm guilty of it too) seem to hold the president responsible for everything that goes wrong, and for not making positive changes.  The economy is in a hard hard state right now, people are hurting and struggling, fighting to survive and one man can't fix that.  It is unrealistic to think Obama could have made such great changes in the past four years, and it would have been unrealistic to expect Romney to fix the mess that was created over the past eight plus years.  There is only one that can truly heal the hurt, feed the starving and lessen the struggles... He's our Almighty God.  You know the verse, "I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me" - pull him near, feel his warmth and I promise he'll pull you through whatever your troubles may be.  No president can do that!

So here we are... Obama has another four years to finish what he started, another four years to get it right, to learn from his mistakes and go forward making GOOD decisions to help America turn itself around.  Just keep in mind that ONE man can't do it alone, we all have to be a part of the equation.  We all have to be a part of the solution, be the change you want to see in the world, be the role model the world needs you to be... shake your neighbors hand and let's put this country back together again!

Thankful Thursday...

**only one day late this week**

Yikes, it’s Thankful Thursday already and I wrote nothing in between… boo me.

I’ve been thinking about this Thankful Thursday thing, and I’m thinking I need to think about it sooner than on Thursday’s… I played through so many things that I’m thankful for that I literally got a headache.  Seriously, where do you start when you have so many things to be thankful for?  I’ll tell ya where…  with God.  I know, there was a time when such a statement coming from my mouth would have caused panic but don’t worry… Mercury isn’t in Retrograde or anything like that.  Well maybe it is, I haven’t checked lately so who knows.

Anywho… if ya know me, and I mean really know me and not just think you know me… you know there was a period when me and God didn’t exactly see eye to eye.  I never stopped talking to him, well maybe it was more like yelling at him… but either way, I’ll tell ya flat out he never left my side.  I’ll save you the gory details of my past but there were many a time when, in looking back, He was there catching me every time I fell… except that one time that involved black ice and a concusion, and that other time that involved high heels and ½ dozen shots, but I digress…

It was rough… it still is.  But now I have more faith that everything will be ok.  It was 2010 and after seven years of “bad luck” I’d had enough, I heard his call and followed his lead… the decision was made, me and the kids would be going back to church.  Their father didn’t want any part of it at the time, which was ok cause I was going to need someone to take care of the kids after I burst into flames from stepping foot in a church.  Seriously.  I researched the area churches and decided on Oak Pointe Church in Novi.  The day came, the kids were excited, I was nervous and cautiously approached the building slowly walking in further and further… sigh, phew… no flames.  Would you believe I noticed changes happening right away… and for the better!   For the longest time, while at odds with God, I had that attitude of “just because I don’t go to church doesn’t mean I’m not a Christian, or a good person”… it’s not enough, it really isn’t.   There’s a BIG difference in saying I believe in God and actually believing in him… know what I mean?  You can go around and say, yeah yeah I believe… but do you really?  What do your actions say?  What does your heart say?  Do you feel the belief or is it just  a passive statement??  Do ya get it now?

Anywho… long story short, we only attended that church for about 8 months when God started making big moves in our lives and he took us to Port Huron for a new and wonderful career!  Then a year later we were called to head north… and back to my home church, Gaylord Evangelical Free Church.  The church has grown TREMENDOUSLY since I left the area in 1999 but it still has that small town warmth and love about it… even though the attendance has grown so much, I still see so many faces I recognize and I’m thankful for that.  A little sad when some of the faces are of those that were in elementary school the last time I saw them, or were just graduating high school and now have families of their own… sigh, I feel so old.  :o(

Back to my long story short… I’m thankful for God and his forgiveness.  If you’ve never heard of 2wordstory, I highly recommend you check out their site and program – it’s AWESOME!  I struggled with my own 2 word story and what it should be, there were sooo many words I could use but I settled on the one most fitting.  My story… Forgiven?  Forgiven.  Someday I’ll tell ya about it, but for now this song by Mercy Me describes it pretty well.