Are you listening to me?
Yes I can hear you!
No, I know you can hear me but are you LISTENING to me!?
Yes I can hear you!
No, I know you can hear me but are you LISTENING to me!?
If I had a dime for every time I had that conversation I’d be a dime-onare. With the fast paced way we live these days, it seems more and more people have become listening impaired. We don’t listen to our spouse, our children, friends, those we love and those we don’t love. People just don’t listen anymore and we should. Listening can be such a powerful tool.
When we are listened to it makes us (or at least me) feel, respected, loved, appreciated, and alive! Think of your friends and family members, which ones do you talk to the most? Is it the ones that listen to you or the ones that only hear what you’re saying? I’d be willing to bet it’s the ones that are listening… and I bet they’re also the ones that are more fun, more comforting and just plain interesting aren’t they? The majority just muddle through life hearing many things but not really paying attention to what is actually being said – not really listening.
I don’t mean to sound sexist but I think women listen better. It’s not to any fault of the men, they can’t help that we’re better at it… :o) Women are just naturally compassionate listeners, caring and giving to others is our thing and to be good at it we have to listen. Men have more of an aggression for succeeding in the work place, being the wage earner and financially providing for the family. I remember MANY years ago when I was dating a man he was having a conversation with his younger sister and getting frustrated because she “wasn’t listening” to him when in reality he was the one not listening. I stopped him before he blew his lid and said, no what she’s saying is… and even though I repeated exactly what she had been saying he finally “heard” what she was saying and a major fight was avoided. His mother witnessed the whole thing and was sooo thankful I had been there – apparently that was a common occurrence around there.
How many times have you gotten a gift from your boyfriend or husband that just floored you? Something you’d never use, never ask for and completely opposite of your taste? The first Christmas I spent with my now husband he kept asking me what I wanted for Christmas. I’d say new tires for my car every single time, every time! I got a necklace and a bracelet… both very pretty and nice and probably about the same price as a new set of tires, but I don’t wear jewelry. We’d been together about 3 months at the time; couldn’t he see the extent of my jewelry wearing was most likely a simple ring? But I digress…
Listening requires complete attention and is how we learn. The more we listen, the more we learn. We all need to realize and understand that listening, not hearing, not talking, is a magical magical thing. A true listener, is more effective, more loved, and does more good. Go ahead and give it a whirl… try LISTENING to your spouse, your parents, your children, friends etc… you’ll be surprised at what kind of miracles happen right before your eyes! The next time you’re anxious to interject during a conversation, take a moment and really listen to what the other person is saying.
