As for me and my house...

Everyone wants to truth right?  Nobody likes to be lied to... it greatly diminishes trust, respect, and belief in those that have lied.  I wish I could say I was perfect and have never told a lie (intentional or not) but I'm sure I have some little "white lies" following me around - of course I do, I have small children!

Lying is something I've always preached about and always requested that people tell me the truth, no matter how bad they think it is or how upset they think I might get.  So what if I get mad, I'll get over it and I'll respect you more for having the balls to tell me the truth!  With that, I just gotta say, I have never in my whole life experienced or been lied to so much as I have in the past seven years... and because of my profession, it's just gonna continue.  But the seven years I'm referring to is my personal life and a certain individual... ups and downs as any normal "relationship" would have (ANY kind of relationship) but this past year has just been a bugger of lies and deceipt!  I knew when it started, I knew it was getting worse and I knew before it blew up that it was about to blow up... and that's ok.  It's not ok how it all went down because it could have been avoided if there had been truth... not necessarily the parting of ways, but the blow up and the way the parting took place.

I've been attending a program at church called Celebrate Recovery... its similar to AA in that there's a recovery principle/process but it's a Christ based program focusing on hurts, habits and hang ups.  It's a really good program and every week I attend I walk away with new insight to my life and how to "deal" with the things (be it old or new) affecting me.  Last night's class was no exception... it was probably one of the classes that spoke to me most.  There were so many verses and attributes that fit perfectly in what my life is managing right now... and how lies and deceipt are the work of the Devil (which I knew but it's always good to have a reminder).  NO GOOD CAN EVER COME FROM LYING!!!!

 The mind of a sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God.  It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so.  Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God... Romans 8:6-8

A greedy man brings trouble to his family... Proverbs 15:27

In my walk I've struggled with "knowing" when God is talking to me or showing me a true sign, "how will I know" and will I be strong enough to relenquish control and actually listen to him?  I learned last night that, you just know, and yes I am strong enough to hand it all to Him... I've been telling Him for months now that it's out of my control and that I was handing it to Him but still had that struggle of knowing.

On my way to work Monday I was blessed with a beautiful sight... A Bald Eagle flew overhead right in front of me!  There I was driving along and the most beautiful bird ever flew across the road right above me as I passed under him.  A warmth came over me, a feeling of pride and freedom... I don't know how else to explain it, it was just a feeling of renewal and hope.  I thanked God for his awesome and wonderous works of nature and for allowing me to enjoy in its beauty.  Then last night in class the teacher played a song for us called Voice of Truth, in his video of the song (not the one below) as the song was playing a picture of an Eagle soaring  popped up... I seriously almost lost it and was glad to be sitting in the back so nobody could see me.  He spoke to me, I heard him and I'm listening...

If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever... 1 Timothy 5:8

March on in...

Hey there my peoples... long time no talky eh?  It's not that I don't have anything to say, cause you all know I don't stop talking!  I've even reverted to old school and started throwing thoughts out on paper, with  intentions of putting them here... cause I know all my faithful followers are having withdrawals.  hahahaha  No seriously... just stopping in to let you know I'm still here, still thinking, still kicking it and should be back in full internet mode within the month.  For now, this is all I have to say.........

10,000 Reasons...

It's always annoyed me when people would say, "I can't wait for the new year" as if starting a new year was going to solve all their previous year trials and tribulations.  We all have trials and tribulations - don't we?  I don't think I've ever had a year go by where something happened that I wish hadn't.

I get it.  This year, I finally get it.  I've had my share of rough times over the past few years but 2012 has by far been the roughest, most especially the last couple of months.  I didn't sit around waiting with anticipation of the new year, no I was way to busy and focused on other tribulations to worry about what the new year was going to hold.  It wasn't until well into January 1st that it hit me... the crap of 2012 is over... it's 2013, a  new day, a new chapter in my life and it's up to me how it plays out.  While I know there are things in life that I are beyond my control and without a doubt there will be trials and tribulations this year too... I can guarantee it.  But I also know that because of the 2012 tribulations, the worse is over and I'm free to start a new.  I hate starting over or starting out "new" but this time, it's ok.  I'm ok... or at least I'll be ok.  God brought me here via a strong blood line and we may falter from time to time but we don't give up and we sure as hell don't run.  Look out 2013 and all that get in the way, cause this woman is standing strong and tall!

But what about my kids you may ask?  Well they may not be quite as strong as their Momma, right now... and that's ok too cause I'm their Momma and I will be their strength.  Of course that doesn't mean I don't have my fears, it doesn't mean they won't hurt, it doesn't mean a thousand tears won't be shed... however when this song starts playing on the radio and I hear this tiny little voice coming from my back seat start to sing "Bless the Lord oh My Soul..." - it was then that I knew they too would be ok... it's all going to be ok.

There is nothing sweeter than hearing the voice of a child singing praise to His name..